Excerpt from a Conversation w/ Donald Glover

Me: ...hi.

CG:  hey

Me: uh..I..that was a great show. (pauses) ....I don't know why, but I'm really nervous right now.

CG: why?!

Me: I don't know.

CG: you look really familiar. 

Me: huh?

CG: yeah, your face does. have you come to a show before?

Me: no, I just stalk you

CG: (nervous laugh)

Me:  will you sign my ticket?

CG: yeah sure. (signs ticket)

Me: (points to brace) how's your foot doing?

CG: better! this was my first show since it happened.

Me: yeah, I heard. I was so bummed because I wanted to see you perform at the woodies 

CG: yea I know! it happened right before. I was so sad, I'm sorry!

Me: no it's okay, things involving me and wood usually end in tearful apologies

CG: (throws head back and laughs)

Me: *dies*